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2/20/2019

Change Your Frame, Change Your Life!

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Appraisal and appraiser success coaching podcast


Welcome back to the Real Value Blog, the blog about real estate, appraising, life, value, success, and well…how it all fits together. Good morning my friends, my name is Blaine Feyen and I am your host for this and every episode of the Real Value blog and I am thrilled to be back in this part of town at this particular spot where we always seem to meet up and I must say it is really great to see you again my friend. A big shout out to all of our new listeners and subscribers, all the new members of the Value Syndicate. 1%ers who raised their hands and said, Yes! I too want to be part of a kick ass group of people on a mission, going somewhere and willing to move mountains to get there. Of course, the mountains we typically have to move are within us, deep down inside of each and every one us. Old habits, patterns, paradigms, limiting belief systems, ways of thinking, doing, acting, and being and speaking that may be keeping us, to some degree, in a limited pattern of being, doing, and having what we have simply because that’s all we think we can.  
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One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my life is that the reason you earn what you earn is simply because that’s as big as you can think. If you make $50,000, its not because there isn’t $150,000 worth of business in your town. Its simply because you think like somebody only capable of earning $50,000. The same is true for the $150,000 earners and the $350,000 earners. We earn what we earn, not because its not out there but because you cant think bigger than that yet. Haven’t met a person or a market yet that couldn’t expand their thinking in order to take in more and think bigger. One of the big problems with every technique and tactic I could teach you to make an extra $50,000 or $100,000 next year, in fact, the problem every teacher, coach, and mentor faces is the thinking patterns and thought limitations of the people they’re teaching. It doesn’t matter how much SEO you do, how much tweaking of your website, how much marketing you do this year, until your mind can get past the belief systems that keep you where you are today, all of those things will be wasted time, money, and effort. Everybody says they’d love to earn more, be more, have more, do more, but when it comes right down to it, they don’t really. If they truly did, they’d have it because it’s right there in front of them, they just cant see it because we can only see what our brains and eyes will allow us to see. Most people are raised having heard somebody close to them who says, “I’ll believe it when I see it”. That phrase gets implanted in their subconscious mind and they adopt that mindset.  
  
A 1%er says, I’ll see it once I believe it! Can you hear the difference? I don’t just mean semantically, I mean can you really hear the difference between I’ll believe it when I see it and I’ll see it when I believe it? Unfortunately, appraisers are evidenced based experts. We tend not to believe things until we can see them. We are distrusting of what people tell us because we meet people every day trying to sell us on why the value should be X when we know that’s its probably more like Y. And what is that base on? Facts and evidence. I say in almost all of the classes that I teach to realtors and lenders that it’s the job of the appraiser to strip away all of the emotion of the deal and sift for the facts. Market data, support, evidence, what we’ve seen with our own eyes, that’s what its all based on. Sadly though, what works well for us in the act of appraising, what makes us really good at what we do, is also the mindset that keeps many of you from growing, earning more, attracting more business, getting better clients, and building a killer business that makes your life better instead of spending your precious life energy struggling to build something that just keeps taking it from you. Until you believe its possible, it simply isn't for you. Case closed, go home, keep doing what you’ve always done. Until you are willing to let go of some of your limiting beliefs, fears, anxieties, and the ceiling on what you can accomplish, be, do, have, and earn, life is just one big episode of Groundhog Day.  
 
1%ers are those who have, at some point, snapped out of it, admitted they have something to learn, more to do, places to go, and are willing to do some of the most difficult work around which is stepping out of their comfort zones, facing their fears and anxieties, expanding their minds, and admitting they may be their own worst enemy when it comes to growth and expansion. And then, of course, they start the new journey of making those tiny incremental 1% adjustments to their mindset, their position, their fears, their anxieties, and uncovering all of the little things that may be limiting their progress in some area. I’ve talked about this aspect before but it deserves stating again, this journey is not for everyone. Some friends will fall away. Some of your family may not like your advancement. Some of your colleagues, coworkers, and compatriots will disown you as you move in a different direction since misery loves company and when you decide you want something different for your life, some people in our lives don’t handle it very well. That’s ok though because those who are for your highest and best good will stay, new friends, colleagues, and coworkers will arrive into your life and those who weren’t for your highest and best good will quietly move on. That may sound sad and may have some of you saying, “geez, if I’m going to lose friends because I’m growing and want more from life, then I’m staying back, I don’t want to lose any friends!”. And some of you will say, “geez, If I’m going to lose friends because I’m growing and want more from life, then they weren’t really friends and were probably holding me back in some area. Sad to see you go but so thankful we served the relationship for the time that we did”.  
  
That’s what happens, by the way. You all have experienced it, I’m sure. Something changes in you or somebody in your life and the change causes the relationship to become less important and you move on. You go through a divorce and some of the people you thought were your friends stop being friends and we’re hurt, sad, disappointed. But then you pick your head up and you realize it was a blessing in disguise. The pain, the hurt, the disappointment was a lesson for you and a clarion call to move forward because they weren’t the friends you thought they were and you’re lighter for having gone through the process. That’s the same experience as our limiting thoughts and beliefs. We hold on to them like old friends and we derive comfort from them because they’ve always been there, probably since childhood since that’s where most of our beliefs systems came from. They were injected into us before we had our own independent reasoning capabilities and could really think for ourselves. And, of course, we looked up to our authority figures. We didn’t have the ability to question things and, even if we did, survival often means adopting the belief systems and thinking patterns of our authority figures and our support system. When you're a child you have no choice but to accept that the world is the way they say it is. You have no choice but to accept that you’ll likely never earn more than a certain amount because your parents never earned more than that. Maybe more than that was labeled greed in your household, or you simply believed the lie that an appraiser cant make much more than X dollars per year. I’ve seen this statement a few dozen times on forums and groups. Some well meaning individual waxing philosophical about what the typical appraiser makes. Maybe its true, maybe its not, but if that seed gets planted and takes hold, it may be detrimental to your income and worse, your well being.  
 
Well I’m sorry my friends but it just ain’t so. Although its not up to me to keep hammering this point home because its not an issue I have. But it may be an issue you have and, if you do, you have all the work ahead of you to clear those voices, break those tapes playing In your head, figure out who told you that and then get rid of it. Get rid of all of it and replace it with new information that is more supportive of a new paradigm. A new belief system that says it is available, it can be done, it is easy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with earning more, being more, doing more and having more. One caveat though my friends, this path is not for everybody. Some people just cannot leave behind their old limiting belief systems and there’s not a whole lot you can do for somebody who prefers to not grow. It is a choice and it is 100% up to each of us to adopt the belief systems that allow us to see what we believe is possible. No, you wont believe it when you see it because its actually all around you but you still don’t believe it. You will see it only when you believe it my friends. Its time to level up your mindset, get rid of the limiting belief systems that have been holding you back, fill in the spots where those old beliefs once lived with new information, new beliefs that raise you up, new skills, and you’ll find new opportunities falling into your lap.  
 
By the way, one of the best things you can do to further this aim of leveling up your mindset is to get off of social media. Or at least extremely limit your time and focus on social media. I know many of us feel we have to use it to promote our businesses but many of you get sucked in to the absolutely pointless drama that goes on there. Even some of the industry focused groups, which can be very helpful when it comes to solving industry specific problems, weird appraisal issues, even meeting some new good people, are not immune to the time and energy suck of useless back and forth about non essential things. Be careful what kind of time you are spending on social media and maybe more importantly, who you are letting influence you on social media. I have yet to see any group require tax returns or statement of net worth as a condition of membership. Why would you want that you ask? Because I want to know who I might be getting advice from and whether or not they think at the same level as I do or above and one of the best ways to know this is by checking the score. We all keep score in a variety of ways and one of those ways is called income production. Its not the only way and its not the only means of judging whether or not to listen to someone on a particular topic. However, one of the biggest topics talked about in social media groups, besides how to waste all of your precious time picking on realtors and filling their inboxes with angry hate mail, as if that will turn them around and make them think appraisers are reasonable people, is how to get more business. Asking how to get more business is another way of saying, I don’t make enough money.  
 
Be careful who you ask and who you take advice from my friends. Most of the people making most of the money in any business or industry are not wasting their time arguing with people on social media. They’re making money and spending time in the essential activities that get them to the income production and life goals they have set for themselves. It’s Pareto’s principle, the 80/20 rule, which, when examined closer, is usually more like the 95/5 rule and it states quite simply that 5% of people earn 95% of the money, 5% of your activities deliver 95% of your results, 5% of your social group either contributes or detracts from your growth, and so on. Take any aspect of your business and life and we can apply the Pareto Principle. The 5% of appraisers earning the greatest incomes in the appraisal business are not whining about realtors on social media. The 5% of appraisers with the most efficient and profitable appraisal businesses are not arguing with their peers in a facebook group. Do you know why? Because the 5% of appraisers with the most efficient and profitable businesses wouldn’t consider someone arguing on facebook or fighting with realtors on facebook, or calling other appraisers stupid on facebook their peers. They just don’t. The definition of a peer is one who is in equal standing, one who has an equal worth or ability as another. If you want to be in the top 5% and eventually a 1%er, you must rise above petty squabbles, rise above attacking another industry just because you disagree with a blog post or a YouTube video, rise above wasting your precious time hanging out with people who think below you, and, most importantly, rise above your own self limiting beliefs about what is possible.  
 
As promised in last week’s episode on speaking and the bonus episode, which outlined the 35 mostly common questions I get at agent and lender presentations and teach you how to do something I call ‘answer stacking’, which is an advanced  speaking and teaching technique that will place you in a category of speakers and teachers that get invited back because you address more than what they expected you to. If you want to learn what answer stacking is and how to do it you have to get the bonus episode that only value syndicate members get. If that doesn’t matter to you then no worries. I wanted to expand a bit on last week’s episode since the topic of getting up in front a group of people and having the opportunity to shape and mold their perception of you is an extremely important and valuable opportunity. I know many, statistically most of you have a fear of public speaking which is what we’ll be discussing. I’ve talked in previous episodes about a method of changing your brain and how you see things by doing something called reframing. Reframing, or cognitive reframing to be specific, is the process of first identifying and then changing views that aren’t helpful and resourceful in helping us attain the things we say we’d like to have or do.

Reframing is simply the skill of putting a thought or idea into a new frame or giving it a new reference point in your brain so that it becomes more resourceful.  It’s a very mature adult skill that we try to teach our children as they’re growing up and developing frames, or views and paradigms about the world. Your kids may say something like, “school sucks!” Or “I hate gym class”. As good parents and adults who’ve been there, we try to figure out why they might feel the way they do and then give them some potentially more resourceful ways of seeing their plight so that they can make the best of it and gain some good experience and growth from it. We may say something in response like, “yep, I totally get it buddy, I didn’t like school much either.  But I made some of my best friends in school, had some really great teachers along the way, and actually now that I’m an adult, 
kinda wish I had focused a little more in school than I did because it would have afforded me a few more choices after graduation.” We might also say something like, “ya know, We don’t always get to choose our experiences but we always get to choose how we respond to them. How you respond to the tough parts of school, whether you get good grades or not, will determine how hard or easy things are after that. School is a great training ground for the real life that begins after graduation.”
 
  
Now, this may or may not change anything for your child but it did for mine. My oldest son, now 18, was struggling in school. He was labeled, as many are, as ADHD and he simply didn’t like school. He didn’t like having to sit there for 6-8 hours a day being talked to and I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t like it either so I was able to connect and empathize with him on that point which helped him open up a bit and listen when I started to give him a little advice. By the way, empathizing is one of the techniques we’re going to talk about in a bit. But with my son, empathizing with him and admitting that I was just like him in school allowed me to then offer a little reframe. The reframe was basically to say, “hey, its ok to feel the way you’re feeling and, oh by the way, you still have choices. You have choices in how you choose to respond to the things you don’t like in life and the things you don’t like in life can actually make you a better person than the easy fun stuff.” What he heard came across as a challenge that sparked something in him. It helps that I know my son and I know that he’s like his dad, he loves a challenge so I knew all I had to do was reframe his frustration in a form that he’d hear as a way to get better, tougher, and stronger and he’d be off to the races. I can tell you that it worked in spades.

I don’t take all the credit for it because both my sons are amazing young men developing into young adults quite nicely and he still had to do the work but I can tell you that almost everything changed after that talk. He started doing Brazilian 
JiuJitsu, lifting weights, working out, and his grades shot straight to the top. He went from a 2.6 GPA to his current 3.9 GPA. More important to me however, is how he looks for the challenges in school now and he’s deriving some pleasure from braving the experience instead of coming home and saying ‘school sucks’. Now he says, ‘school sucks and I love it’. He often uses a well known military and now popular CrossFit phrase which is ‘embrace the suck’. All I had to do was get him to reframe his experiences in a language that empowered him and gave him access to more of his internal resources than what just saying ‘school sucks’ was giving him access to. The first one made him feel like he had no control over what was being done to him. By reframing his experience, he now sees that he has some control over how he responds and just that ounce of control was enough to totally change the experience for him. 
 
  
Now, I have no doubt that reframing the fear and anxiety of speaking to a group of people in public will be a more difficult challenge that talking to a high schooler about reframing their experiences but it can be done. I’ve done it with myself and I’ve helped lots of others get past the sometimes crippling fear of speaking to more than 2 or 3 people at a time. And like with anything, practice makes perfect and the more experiences you put yourself in, the better and more comfortable you’ll get with larger and larger crowds of people. And by the way, since I talked a lot about earning and the amount some people think they will never be able to earn in the intro, I can tell you that reframing is one of the ways we help people change their thinking patterns to allow more in. Again, until you believe it you wont see it and reframing is a way to get your brain to believe it so that you can see it.  
  
When babies are born they have only two fears: the fear of being dropped and a fear of loud noises. They come into this world not knowing any other fears because they simply don’t have the life experience to associate fear and anxiety with anything else. It’s through life experiences that we start to build a library of memories and categories of things we start to label as good, not so good, scary, tasty, not so tasty, that hurts, that feels good, that’s hot, this is cold and so on the list grows as we bump and fall our way through life racking up bruises. By our 20s, 30s, and 40s we have a nice list of things we like and an even longer list of things we don’t like. Things that scare us, things that give us anxiety and things we simply aren't going to do now that we’re adults and have some agency and control over our lives. This is one of the benefits of being an adult after all. We get to make all the choices about what we like to eat, what we like to drink, smoke, chew, do, feel, taste, and experience. It’s also one of the most limiting aspects of being an adult because we often times label something as a child that we never want to experience again as an adult. How many times has a child had an accurate view or representation of the world around them? Never because they don’t have enough relative life experiences without some intervention from parents, teachers, and authority figures. We then carry those ‘never agains’ into adulthood and think we have the cat by the tail since we get to make all our own choices now. Public speaking is one of those things that most kids decide early on that they dread. Very few young adults want to be the center of attention in front of their peers risking spit balls, giggles, and the worst of all, judgement from their peers. We all hated getting up in front of the class to give a book report of present a science experiment and, in fact, its quite often treated by teachers as a form of punishment and ridicule so no wonder kids grow up hating being in front of a group of people. All of those ‘never again’ experiences are things we tend to take into adulthood and deliberately or subconsciously avoid. Many of those ‘never agains’ shape who we become, what types of activities we enjoy and hate, what types of people we choose to hang with whether they’re good for us or not, and what type of career we may choose, whether empowering and right for us or not.  
  
What I will say to you however, is that those who can get past some of their fears and ‘never agains’ and learn to reframe the experience of speaking in front of a group from one of fear and anxiety to one of excitement and self esteem building will reap the benefits that come with conquering this fear, one of which is increased income. Those that conquer their fears and can confidently speak to a group of people tend to have more opportunities presented to them simply because the people in the audience have almost instant respect for doing something that most of them simply cant or wont do. With that being said, I know we will not overcome your fears in one episode and it wont happen overnight. I will try to give you some tools though so that you can do the vital internal work of identifying your fears and limiting beliefs about public speaking and then reframing and replacing the disempowering ones with far more empowering thoughts and feelings around this awesome opportunity.  
  
In the episode called ‘can we speak like we’re old friends’ I gave you basically four things to think about when it comes to public speaking and giving presentations. Recapped briefly they were to know your stuff and to know you know your stuff. Write out your main points, know your slides, know your topic and then go in knowing you know it and you’ll deliver it with confidence. Most people’s fear of public speaking is rooted in a selfish ‘its all about me’ fear when, in fact, giving a talk or presentation is not about you, its always and will forever be about the audience and the information being delivered. If you can shift the focus off of yourself and place it squarely on the people who deserve to get the attention, the audience, then you’ve made a cognitive shift in your brain and moved beyond your fears. Again, you can still have nerves and be anxious before giving a talk, that’s very normal. However, its what we do with the nerves and anxiety that will determine how confidently we come across and, most importantly, how well the information is delivered to the most important component in any talk, presentation, or class and that is the people who have come there to learn from you. We talked in that episode about having an opinion about the information you’re teaching which is honed and narrowed into what we call your teachable point of view. This is how you can really differentiate yourself from everybody else who might be delivering the same or similar information in some format. For instance, you cant make up USPAP rules and guidelines but you can certainly have an opinion about them and how they play out in a real life scenario. Tell the people what the rules are and then say something like, “but here’s how they look in a real world appraisal scenario”, or ‘Here’s how that plays out when I’m doing research on a report”. When you have an educated opinion about things you are expressing your teachable point of view. By the way, your teachable point of view should always be one that is helpful and educational for the audience. Never negative, never condescending, never off putting, but instead a view that helps them better understand or interpret some aspect of what you’re teaching.  
  
We followed the teachable point of view with developing a solid opening statement or introduction and know exactly what you want to say to wrap up and close the presentation with and then simply fill in the middle with your info. Airline pilots are highly trained professionals with many years of training and experience in the aircraft they’re piloting. They have to know a lot of stuff to take such precious cargo, you and me, from one little point on the earth and to another tiny little strip of land 1000’s and 10s of 1000s of miles away. Fortunately for the pilots today, very sophisticated technology helps them from point A to point B once they’ve gotten off the ground. Where the pilots come in really handy is in two extremely important segments of any trip: the takeoff and the landing. The pilots are absolutely crucial in those two steps and are doing lots of the heavy lifting. Once in the air the pilots are mainly there to monitor the guidance systems, monitor the health of the plane, make very minor adjustments, and be there for emergency intervention should something come up. The takeoff and landing are the key parts of the trip and once in the air things typically go smoothly because they know where they’re going and how they plan to get there. Your talks are no different. Know how you’re getting your aircraft off the ground, your intro or opening statement, and then know where its going and how you’re going to land it, you’re closing statement and wrap up. If you have good information to share with the audience the middle will fill in itself. My last bit of advice was simply to make the whole things interactive and include the audience in your fun. This is one of the most important pieces of information if we’re talking about reducing your fears and overcoming anxiety about public speaking.  
  
Most of us have no problem speaking with a group of people when everybody is adding to the discussion. When other people are talking we have precious time to recover, listen to their point of view, and then maybe give our thoughts on the topic again. When you make your talks interactive you are not only giving yourself vital time to breathe and relax a bit during the talk, you are making it much more exciting for the audience. They want to be part of it and the more you can include them with questions and input the more they’ll remember the presentation. So that’s the recap from that episode. A couple other tips for speaking or teaching in public, and by the way, I always refer to presentations and public speaking in my own mind as public leading. This is one of my own anchors from when I had that discussion with Mr. Toyoda about taking over one of the advanced evening classes. He told me not to get up there and teach people but instead to get up there and just lead the class. So now when I am going to give a talk or lead a class I tell myself that I’ve been given an opportunity to do some public leading. I don’t ever want to be speaking to an audience but instead speaking with an audience and ultimately leading them to an understanding that I want them to leave with. If I do my job well that day, everybody leaves with a greater understanding of the process, the language, the outcomes, and some tools to be more productive and interactive with appraisers in their market. Of course, since I am the one doing the leading, who do you think they want to interact with the most when they have a question or problem that needs to be solved? Of course, its me! 
  
And this is one of my suggestions for transforming your fear and anxiety around public speaking into something that can become exciting and uplifting for you and that’s to define what it is about speaking in public that causes so much fear and anxiety for you and then practice tying those fears instead to something that is fun and exciting for you. You have to think of times when you were excited, yet nervous, and ended up having an awesome time and ultimately coming out just fine. Think of how you felt when you were falling in love, having your first kiss, about to get on a huge ride at an amusement park. Those are all the same feeling centers in your brain as fear and anxiety with the only difference being that you were able to separate your fear and anxiety and place it in a category called excitement. You were still scared, you were still anxious, your were probably conjuring up thoughts of all the things that could go wrong and how you were going to possibly react, but you were excited in some way and you did it. You didn’t let the fear stop you from getting on that ride, kissing that boy or girl, or jumping out of that airplane. You did it, you survived, and you were better off for the experience. We have to do the same thing when it comes to speaking in public. Except that we have to first dig down and figure out exactly what it is about the thought of doing this scary thing called public speaking that makes us freeze and doing everything in our power to avoid it.

Whether it was an early experience that didn’t go well, a natural tendency to avoid the spotlight, some ridicule you faced once that had you saying you’ll never do that again. Whatever it was, we need to get to the heart of it, we need to relabel that experience as just that, an experience you had that informed you and gave you some important information with which to learn from. We then relabel the feelings that come up when you think of doing this thing as exciting and empowering. Instead of using words like negative words like scared, fear, anxiety, we start to connect those same feelings to times when we may have felt the same but were instead excited, having fun, and survived that experience. We do the vital work of thinking about public speaking or public leading (see how I manipulate my own mind by changing one word?) and connecting it to words and feelings of excitement and fun. Getting together with people we like and who like us, people who want we 
we have and know, people who are deep down good people, and people who will ultimately become your greatest cheerleaders once you finish your killer presentation. This is how we reframe things that we’re scared of and drain our energy into things that become empowering for us and things that we ultimately may end up eventually enjoying. 
 
  
I can tell you that I absolutely love opportunities to teach classes, lead discussions and presentations now because I’ve learned how to reframe the whole experience in my mind as something that gives me more life. I think about each one as a challenge that, once overcome, will actually make me a better person, will give me more energy, more experience, and will build my army of professional networkers out in my market into people who are just dying to use me or refer me when the opportunity arises. And I can also tell you from experience that that is exactly what happens. Given some of the shifts in the market, some of the shifts in the appraisal world and all of the discussion and movement toward the non-lending side of the appraisal business, which I fully support, by the way, there is lots of discussion about the internet, about marketing online, having a good website, having good SEO, and focusing on some of those areas of your business. I will tell you as somebody who owned and ran a successful SEO and SEM company for 4 years that all of those things are important. They are, more or less, the minimum cost to entry to the game. As in, if you don’t have a website, it can be difficult for the potential non-lender clients to find you. If you haven’t optimized your site properly you may have a hard time coming up as a potential search result when somebody searches for one of the keywords that you want to rank for in Google’s search algorithm.

If you don’t do any kind of marketing to the potential 
market you’d like to be doing business with you may have a difficult time grabbing your share of that market. However, one of the most powerful methods of ensuring your growth in any market that absolutely blows away internet marketing, SEO, mailers, and Google AdWords is getting out into your market and turning people on to you by speaking with them directly. I know this because we do all of those things in my company. We have a website, we blog, we have a podcast, we do SEO, we make videos, we have private facebook groups for realtors and lenders, and we run google AdWords and do A/B split testing of headlines every single month. Each one of those things contributes to our success and continued growth over the years. However, nothing has contributed as much or as consistently as me taking time out of almost every week and going into my market to educate them, answer questions, and become a resource for them as an appraiser. Nothing! The google ads, the SEO, the website, and any other marketing doesn’t hold a candle to my speaking, teaching classes, and holding presentations and we track and measure all of it. We know where our leads come from and what each one of them cost us depending on where they came from. And what I can tell you is that I am writing far more thank you cards each week because of the constant stream of referrals than checks for ads and mailers. The thank you cards tell me almost everything I need to know because they are to the people who send us business and the list is long every week. 
 
  
That doesn’t mean I will stop doing those other things because I am a marketer and business man first, appraiser second. But I could. I could stop doing SEO, blogging, podcasting, and spending money on google ads and just focus on speaking to my market because that has proven to be the greatest marketing secret out there. Get over yourself, get over your fears, develop your teachable point of view, and get out into your market and start building your market of raving fans. They’re raving fans not because you always hit their value, they’re raving fans because they know you, like you, and trust that you know what the hell you’re doing because they hear your voice and see your face everywhere. If you’re struggling with the little you inside, the little you that says you’re going to die if you have to speak to more than 3 people at one time. Its time to kick the little you in the groin and tell it to grow up! Remember, there are several fears many people have that are completely irrational and public speaking is one of them. There is no threat of bodily harm or death by public speaking. All of your fears of doing so are irrational fears that can be talked through and replaced with a rational response and a cognitive reframing of what is more likely to occur.

What is more likely to occur is that you will be prepared, you will know your stuff, you will be liked, you will get applause and pats on the back, you will get invited back, and you will get more business! 
Its really that simple my friends. Learn to literally create a new frame through which you can see the positive results you’d like to have and then break the old frame. Literally, in your mind you literally imagine seeing your old fears and anxieties about public speaking as if looking through a window frame or a mirror and then you break it. You smash the old frame in your mind and you replace it with the new frame through which you can see all of the right stuff happening and then you tie it to an empowering and uplifting feeling like excitement and happiness. I guarantee that when you conquer this fear and can go do it over and over again you will become a more powerful person! And when you learn to reframe this experience you will carry that ability into every aspect of your life. In no time you’ll be jumping out of airplanes, swimming with sharks, cliff diving, wrestling with rattle snakes and holding fireworks in your hand while they go off. Oh, you don’t want to do those things because you think you could die? Well you’re probably right! But there is no way you’re going to die by simply standing in front of a few friends and colleagues. See what I did there? I gave you a little contrast with which to reframe. You’re welcome.
 
  
I want to thank you my friends for walking this journey with me again this week. What an awesome journey it has been and trust me when I say that we have only just begun. I trust that you will do some of the hard work required since you have invested one of your most valuable currencies with me again this week and that is, of course, your time. You cant get the hour back but you can turn your investment of one hour into $1000, $10,000, or $100,000 extra dollars in personal income, a new venture, a new way of seeing the world and a release of an old and limiting belief about what is possible. Not just in this industry but in your life. I’ve said it before and so I’ll say it again, everybody gets exactly the business they deserve. By that I mean that you can look around you and see what you have created. Should you ever decide you want something different, its yours for the taking and all you have to do is to believe it and you’ll eventually see it. The wright brothers had never seen air travel before the airplane. Roger Banister had never seen the 4 minute mile before he broke the record. And nobody had ever seen or met a hundred billionaire or a company like amazon before Jeff Bezos. Don’t say it cant be done my friends, just say it hasn’t been done by you yet. But then put three little dots after that and leave it open. This allows you to place the emphasis on the word ‘yet’ with the whole universe at your fingertips to figure it out.  

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1 Comment
Men Seeking Men Wales link
1/3/2023 05:21:30 am

This waas lovely to read

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    Blaine Feyen is the founder and CEO of the Real Value Group, a real estate appraisal and training firm in Grand Rapids, MI.

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